Once more unto the breach!

Labour proposes banning smoking in pub gardens

I’ve refrained thus far from writing much about Comrade Keir’s ascendancy to Prime Minister, as none of it has been particularly unpredictable. The Conservative Party spent the last few years enthusiastically blowing its brains out, and left a power vacuum ready to be filled by the only viable alternative in a two party system. It never mattered what Starmer’s policies were, nor that he lacks any of the prerequisites one would expect of a Prime Minister, nor that he seems to actively hate his fellow countrymen. All that mattered for a Labour landslide was that he wasn’t Rishi Sunak. As long as he didn’t humiliate himself more than Sunak during the campaign (which was almost impossible to do, given Sunak’s overt efforts to butcher his own campaign), he’d be guaranteed the role of Prime Minister.

Starmer has now been in the role for a couple of months, and already it feels as though the country is catapulting itself back into 1974, ready for another Winter of Discontent. The Labour government is too weak to negotiate with the trade unions, who are holding the country to ransom once more; Starmer has laid the ground for conceding that there’ll be further tax rises, despite trying to deny this would happen during the campaign (AKA: lying); and lastly, anti-immigration riots have erupted across the country. These riots were largely triggered by well over a decade of pent-up frustration with incompetent administrations betraying their mandates, but Starmer’s response was not to attempt to unite the country; whilst there were anti-immigration protests clashing with “anti-racist” protests, the Prime Minister branded the former as “far right wing thugs”, “extremists”, and “racists”.

No. This is NOT just "far right thuggery"

His management of the last few months has been chaotic, uninspiring, and completely tone deaf. By refusing to attempt to unify the country and address concerns, Starmer has alienated much of his voter base. Never has such a large majority in the Commons seemed so feeble.

The main issue is that he is weak. He doesn’t stand for anything, has no moral conviction (other than, seemingly, trashing the private sector and scapegoating the white working class), and doesn’t possess any of the core tenets of leadership. It’s almost impossible to imagine him authoritatively chairing discussions in the Cabinet Office — it strikes me as far more likely that someone would turn on a fan and he’d billow around the room like a kite whose lines have been cut.

His unfair and biased leadership has garnered him the nickname “Two Tier Kier”. Nothing epitomises this phenomenon more than the Notting Hill Carnival, which is notorious for being seedy and violent. Each year, Londoners take out over/under bets with each other, speculating on how many stabbings there’ll be. Compared to previous years, it was remarkably safe last weekend: there were only three stabbings, 15 police officers assaulted and 90 arrests made. To put this into context, this makes attending Notting Hill Carnival far more dangerous than attending anti-immigration protests. Neither Keir Starmer nor Sadiq Khan see a problem with this.

Banning smoking in pub gardens

Now, he’s come up with his most insane policy idea so far: banning smoking in pub gardens. There are no two ways about this: a ban on smoking cigarettes in the gardens of Wetherspoons around the country is a direct assault on British culture and British values. His proposal is to also ban smoking outside nightclubs, on restaurant terraces, outside sports stadia, in parks, on pavements near universities and hospitals, and in shisha bars.

Of course, neither party in recent years has a particularly good record when it comes to smokers’ rights. Let us not forget that Sunak also tried to introduce a smoking ban, which would have made it illegal for anyone born after 2009 to ever buy cigarettes.

The politics of today are a far cry from Churchill’s, who, after being told by his doctor that he was only allowed to smoke one cigar per day, contacted the company La Aroma de Cuba, and had unusually large cigars custom-made to compensate. What happened to this Churchillian spirit in British politics? Weirdly enough, it seems that Michael Gove (of all people!) might be the last politician to display such a flair. With smoking banned in public buildings, Gove’s security feared that his cigarette breaks outside Parliament could become a “security risk”, given that he was so unpopular with the public. As such, a small “smoking den” was constructed on the roof of The Department for Levelling Up. It might be the only thing the department ever did level up. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me if her involvement in this initiative contributed to Esther McVey being appointed the Minister of Common Sense.

Interviewer: “It’s been reported that you’re looking at tighter restrictions on smoking outdoors. Pub gardens, outdoor restaurants, outside hospitals, and so on. Is that something that you are considering?”

Starmer: “My starting point on this is to remind everyone that over 80,000 people lose their lives every year because of smoking. Those are preventable deaths. It’s a huge burden on the NHS, and of course it’s a burden on the taxpayers. So yes, we are going to take decisions in this space. More details will be revealed, but this is a preventable series of deaths and we’ve got to take the action to reduce the burden on the NHS and reduce the burden on the taxpayer.”

Interviewer: “You said when you became Prime Minister that you wanted politics to tread more lightly on people’s lives. This is the opposite, isn’t it?”

Starmer: “Look, I think it’s important to get the balance right.”

It’s worth noting that, from an economic standpoint, smoking is fantastic for the British economy. Not only does it encourage greater participation in hospitality (pub gardens, roof terraces, etc.), but it’s also a moneyspinner for the state, which hoovered up £8.8bn in duties on tobacco from 2023-2024, and £10bn the year before that. By contrast, the cost to the NHS for treating smoking-related diseases has been estimated to be circa ~£2.6bn¹.

The more important question, however, is the extent to which the state should be allowed to tell you what to do. The state should not encroach on the rights of Britons to smoke as they please, but as a protégé of Blair, perhaps Starmer’s authoritarian leanings shouldn’t be surprising. Already, smokers in Britain are treated like children. After having paid extortionate Pigouvian taxes on tobacco, the packaging must be adorned with images of tarred lungs and overtures of death. This is already too much intervention from an overprotective, mollycoddling nanny state. To carry Blair’s torch by torching Britons’ freedoms is a disastrous policy.

If the owner of an establishment is happy, and all the smokers outdoors are happy, the state does not need to be involved — generally, people can be trusted to be reasonable. Regardless of whether you’re a smoker or not, this is a stupid rule and should be opposed.

1. The report says £2.6bn, but the report is three years old. It may be slightly higher now.